Giants Win at Dallas on Monday Night

NY Giants beat Dallas Cowboys 41 - 35.

It's a good thing that the Rangers are in the World Series or the people of Dallas may have collectively hung themselves tonight. After the Cowboys lead 20 - 7, Eli Manning decided to play like a Manning and pick apart their defense while Tony Romo sat in the locker room with a broken clavicle. Jon Kitna and Dallas made the score close in the fourth quarter but by then it was too late to save their season. While the Cowboys are finished, the Giants established themselves as the class of the NFC. Manning had a tough start but looked like an elite quarterback the rest of the way out. With Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs getting the ground game going again and the defense injuring every quarterback they come up against, Manning and the Giants are poised to make a run. Their only issue may be getting hot at the wrong time like the 2008-2009 version of the team but only time will tell.

Rangers-Giants World Series

Well... Couldn't have been more wrong about a Yankees Phillies rematch. The Giants seemed done after blowing it at home with Lincecum on the mound in Game 5, but Bochy worked his magic and got his boys through to the World Series. Gutsy effort, but I'm still picking the Rangers to win. San Francisco may have a better pitching staff (Brian Wilson is the man) but their bats can't match up with Texas's lineup. Either way, it should be a great series featuring poor tv ratings and two fan bases who have no idea how to handle this type of situation. Tim Lincecum and Cliff Lee go head to head in Game 1 on Wednesday.

Other news of note:

• Oklahoma and LSU were eliminated from the National Championship race this weekend (at least I was right about Oklahoma losing) and Auburn looks like the team to beat. An Oregon - Auburn title game would be a spectacle but unfortunately it won't happen. Both teams have too many challenges ahead of them to make it through unscathed and instead we'll probably get Boise State and TCU or some other asinine combination of schools.

• Rangers have won three straight without Drury or Gaborik. If their young D matures over the course of the season and their secondary scoring keeps coming through then maybe they'll turn into a contender after all.

• This weekend, Charger fans learned that Kris Brown sucks after he booted a potentially game tying 50 yard field goal off of the upright in the last minute against the Patriots. Welcome to the club.

• All of the head to head fine talk in the NFL is complete crap. If the league didn't want its players to get hurt they wouldn't be pushing for an 18 game schedule that will exploit its players and its fans. Players will potentially work more often without an immediate increase in pay because they are already tied to their contracts and ticket prices surely won't go down even though each individual game is devalued. Sounds like a league that really cares about the individuals that make it work. Stop being hypocritical, fine only for actual malicious hits, and let the boys play.

Return to Amateur Hour Rant

Back again. It's been a while. A lot has happened. Let's get into it...

NCAA Football:

• Is it 2007 all over again? Once again, we're going to end up with a mediocre national champion and more questions than answers at the end of the year. Going through the undefeated: Oklahoma is Oklahoma (they will lose), Oregon has a tough schedule the rest of the way out, LSU must have Jesus on their sideline to be were they are (blind fake field goal toss), Auburn has Alabama on the road (after LSU this week), Michigan State has to play at Iowa, Boise State has a weak schedule and ditto for TCU (plus you have to throw in the fact that if TCU goes to the national championship I will hang myself. They can't do that to me.). Lot of question marks and certainly no clear number one. I blame Boise for half of this mess. Anybody can be the best for a single game. South Carolina proved that after stunning Alabama before proceeding to crap themselves at Kentucky. I don't mean to hate on the Broncos, but if they want serious national respect then they need to either leave the WAC, find tougher opponents or schedule themselves a difficult stretch playing the slate they already have. If they played Virginia Tech and Oregon State back to back instead of taking a bye week and Wyoming then they could have proven that they deserve to have the easy road to the title game. But now? It's up to the voters.

• Speaking of voters: get rid of them. I know I'm paranoid about Terminator being real, but I trust the BCS computers to be unbiased more than I trust voters. Set up an unbiased formula and go with it.

• Moving to personal issues: Could Michigan's D be any worse? If they need somebody to get torched every drive I'm confident I could step in, do the job, and save them a scholarship. Watching shoot outs sure is fun but not when you're losing. With teams figuring out that Denard is fragile and can't throw, winning one of the last 5 games isn't as certain as it once was.

• Texas going from a spread offense to a pro-style has to be one of the saddest transitions for a spectator. Sure it was necessary and Gilbert can only get better, but I already miss the dual-threat glory days.

NFL:

• Well... It's been interesting. The Cowboys and Vikings have been terrible while even a blatant Jets hater can admit that they've been good. Sanchez is coming along faster than expected so maybe they do have what it takes to reverse the trend of building up hope before inevitably destroying everyone who has ever supported Gang Green. Or it's all part of their master plot... Either way, is there any question that a team from the AFC is winning the Super Bowl this year? The Jets, Steelers, Ravens, retooled Pats, Colts, Titans and... Texans... all seem to be better than any NFC team right now, save for the Giants taking Houston to the woodshed (which I blame on Duane Brown's absence no matter how badly every other position was outplayed.). Unless the Giants (by my take the best team in the NFC) go on another playoff run the title is returning to the AFC.

• Does anyone like Roger Goodell outside of neo-conservatives? I think he's pulling a Chewbacca defense with the crack down on tackling while simultaneously lengthening the season. It makes no sense.

• Even though the conferences are unevenly weighted, the parody is a nice change for a league that has been dominated by the undefeated and the winless.

• How did Houston find so many options at back after not having any last year? Arian Foster is filthy, Derrick Ward looks solid, Slaton can give a few carries, and they get Ben Tate next year. If only they could play defense...

• I hope the Chiefs win the AFC West. Between Jamaal Charles, Dexter McCluster and Dwayne Bowe I don't know who's the most exciting to watch, Thomas Jones looks great, and "Don't Hassle the Cassel" is still an amazing slogan. Plus their fans are white trash and it's always fun to see white trash celebrate.

NHL:

• Too early to see how anything will really shape up (the Islanders, Leafs, and Lightning make up the top three in the East) but the Bruins look good. Maybe I've spent too much time in Boston, but from what I've seen they look like a team that's built for the playoffs and has a chip on its shoulder.

• Other than the Bruins, the only other Eastern conference teams that have enough grit to be considered "playoff built" are the Flyers, Penguins, and possibly the Leafs. Brian Burke is a wizard when it comes to building competitive teams. He built the Ducks, he put together Team USA, and he's making Toronto respectable. Glen Sather for Burke straight up? I'm sure we can toss in James Dolan as some sort of cash incentive.

• Seeing Gaborik out for 2-4 weeks and Drury out for 6 should concern me as a Ranger fan but I'm trying to be optimistic this year and there are three positives that can come out of this. 1) They get their injuries out of the way early. How many games could Gaborik really miss? (Don't answer that question.) 2) They have their traditional hot and cold year and start off cold. If that's the case I'll trade a miserable first half for a hot second half every season without hesitation. Coming into the playoffs with heat is the only way this team will make anything happen. 3) Their secondary scoring learns how to finish. Out of the three, this is the only legitimate reason that could impact the entire year. Without Gaborik, people like Callahan, Dubinsky, and Frolov are going to have to carry the scoring load. If they could learn how to do it now they'll reap the benefits in March.

• Derek Stepan is a beast. He can create things out of nothing and can add dangerous depth if he keeps it up. Between Stepan, Fedotenko, Biron, and Boogaard, the Rangers are a completely different team than last year in a good way. Is this what hope feels like?

MLB

• Yankees Phillies is bound to happen isn't it? It seems unavoidable even with Lee on the mound for game 7. It'll be the most interesting but seeing Brian Wilson exit the playoffs will be a sad day for all. Except Philly fans. They really love to hammer people.

• I don't think the World Series can possibly be as good as the NLCS.

NBA

• Basketball guy will be on this.

General comments:

• Damn the Fall has great TV.

Rangers Salvage A Terrible Football Weekend

Not sure who Jesus is in this situation but he's there.

After Denard Robinson and Tate Forcier got hurt against Bowling Green, Texas made UCLA look like a national champion, and the Texans were shellacked at home by the Cowboys, this weekend surely seemed like a sporting bust. Instead, the New York Rangers made it one for the scrapbook when they finally waived Wade Redden and sent him down to Hartford. Thank God it's finally over. The writing was on the wall when they signed Frolov and needed to move cap room, but nothing is a sure thing with Glen Sather at the reigns so the end of September has a nice Christmas feel. I don't know how the Blueshirts are going to fill the scoring vacuum Redden's departure has created (players who score 5 goals in 156 games come around maybe once every generation) but their young defensive corps should be up for the task. He was a disappointment in New York who never earned half of his absurd contract. Goodbye Wade. Have fun robbing some KHL team of a couple million rubbles (or whatever else kind of Monopoly money they use over there nowadays).

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with Michael Vick

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5601286

Everyone's favorite dog-fighting-human-highlight show will replace quarterback Kevin Kolb as the starter for the Philadelphia Eagles this weekend. Fantasy leagues, Chris Berman, and ESPN's top ten be prepared.

Penn State gets Hockey

Soon this guy will be driving a Zamboni at an elite level.

After an $88 million donation, Penn State will have NCAA Division 1 Hockey starting in the 2012-2013 season.

It's about time this happened. There have been rumors for years but it's nice to hear that it actually built up to something. Given, they're going to be terrible for quite some time (Ohio State sucks and they have a ton of money to throw around) and they're going to get smacked around in whichever league they play in (either the CCHA or the WCHA), but good for Penn State. It's a school that had no excuse for not having a program with its large athletic program and built in fan base. College hockey may not be on par with the OHL or QMJHL up in Canada, but it's fun to watch and will be a good experience for their students. Nothing better than a couple cases of Natty and some college puck.

Marc Staal and Bobby Ryan Sign Extensions

Staal's looking to improve for the third straight season.

Marc Staal had an up and down season last year despite his rise in production. He had to sit out a few games and get his head together, but that being said this is a great move by the Rangers. He's their top defenseman and he'll be needed in their own zone to help out Henrik. While Del Zotto (who was worst on the team with a horrendous -20) and Gilroy may be fun to watch rush the puck, it's Staal who leads the unit and Staal who will be counted to shut down their best guys come playoff time. Now get out there, earn that $3.975 million a year, and knock out Ilya. It'll be fun I promise.

If you don't like Bobby Ryan go back to Afghanistan you terrorist.

Bobby Ryan's a Jersey guy therefore it isn't a coincidence that he's a great player. Good signing by the Ducks after there were talks of him being shipped elsewhere. The West is wide open this year with Chicago imploding their roster, San Jose ditching Nabakov and picking up a cup winner in Neimi, Detroit deciding (thankfully) to go old school and rely on a stud goalie, and the city of Vancouver still partying ever since Dustin Byfuglien left the conference, so keeping a player of Ryan's caliber is something the Ducks needed to do. If they can stop playing the regular season like they've already made the playoffs then they have the talent in net and up front to make noise.

Bush Forfeits Heisman

Reggie Bush sends award back to Heisman Trust.

Honestly, I think he should have been allowed to keep it. Obviously with all of the scandal he had to do the honorable thing and give it back but are you telling me he was the only Heisman winner ever to accept favors? Are you saying that USC was the only school to do this? I hate Reggie Bush and USC, but he was the best player in the country and he wasn't cheating on the field. I'd be shocked if most big time players don't get some sort of treatment that's a violation of some minor NCAA rule (an institution that makes millions off of kids and doesn't pay them. Hockey, baseball, soccer, and any other organization that doesn't deal with the NCAA know how to handle things.). Besides, vacating his name will only add to his fame because he will forever be known as the only player to ever lose it. 50 years from now Sam Bradford will be an obscure name but Reggie will be up there with Archie Griffen. It may be shameful, but his explosive talent is now immortalized.

P.S. I remember one guy screaming at the Texans on the radio for passing up a "guaranteed Hall of Famer" when they took Mario Williams first. I wonder what that guy thought of JaMarcus.

P.P.S. If they offer the trophy to Vince Young he better turn it down. He didn't win it then and he shouldn't be rewarded 5 years later because the other guy slipped up. Keep that National Championship you've got in your closet. It's cooler anyway.

Thanks Clinton

Clinton Portis says what everybody else is thinking about the alleged harassment Ines Sainz by Jets players and coaches.

"And I mean, you put a woman and you give her a choice of 53 athletes, somebody got to be appealing to her. You know, somebody got to spark her interest, or she's gonna want somebody. I don't know what kind of woman won't, if you get to go and look at 53 men's packages. And you're just sitting here, saying 'Oh, none of this is attractive to me.' I know you're doing a job, but at the same time, the same way I'm gonna cut my eye if I see somebody worth talking to, I'm sure they do the same thing."

There's a turd in the punchbowl and the NFL doesn't like it. This situation is exactly like when that girl sent Tupac to jail for rape. If you don't want sex, then don't perform felatio on the dance floor and if you don't want to get hit on, then stop looking like a model. Why was she there in the first place? Do people in Mexico even watch football? This whole thing is suspicious.

Suddenly, the Jets are Less Scary

I'm not talking about their loss last night. They lost to a good Baltimore team by one point with their offense putting up a historically bad performance. That kind of thing happens, Brian Schottenheimer will adjust (or not. He's terrible so I wouldn't be surprised either way.), and they'll still end up putting up wins. One game isn't a season and the Jets backlash is insane (just like the Texans hype is nuts but then again they're still ranked below the Colts in ESPN's Power Rankings so it isn't out of hand.). Kris Jenkins going out for the season is another matter entirely. With him in the middle, the Jets were nearly impossible to run the ball against, which doesn't bode well for other teams when they have such a solid secondary (despite Cromartie being mediocre and Wilson getting lit up. Once again, one game is not a season.). Without Jenkins the Jets still did well but they aren't the team I was scared of in August. There are holes now. Good times on the Jets bandwagon and good luck with the Pats on Sunday.

USA Basketball Wins FIBA World Championship

USA wins gold.

I feel bad for this USA basketball team. After being labeled a "B-team" and dismissed because they didn't have LeBron, Kobe, or Wade, they still had all of the pressure that comes with representing the Stars and Stripes in basketball. All they did in return was dominate and bring home the gold. The reaction? Meh, USA basketball is supposed to dominate. It's our sport so we're supposed to win gold but if they came home with silver everybody would throw a hissy fit. Congrats boys and way to rep the States. Kevin Durant was amazing and showed why his name will be tossed around frequently in MVP talks this season even with King James in his prime and Kobe in his conference. I hope his wheels don't fall off from exhaustion because it would be nice to see him challenge the Lakers in the west.

How Bout them Hokies?!

They could have used Marcus today.

Virginia Tech loses to James Madison University.

So is Boise screwed now? Obviously they're still a good team but the Virginia Tech win was supposed to be something for them to hang their hat on at the end of the season and that's pretty much gone two weeks into the year. Sure there will be hours of debate, but this game will be the death of them if it's between Boise and a one loss SEC team for the National Title. Get out of the WAC Boise. It's your only hope.

Denard Robinson for Heisman?

It's days like these that make me hate myself for not being in Ann Arbor. 502 yards? 3 TDs? The kid's an absolute stud. If he can keep putting up over 400 yards a game there's no doubt in my mind that he'll be in New York accepting the biggest award in college football at the end of the season. Do I really think he's going to continue this type of production though? Not at all. Other than their dominant offensive line, he's a one man show and pretty much a one trick pony. Any pass over ten yards is all over the place and Michigan's backs haven't given him any sort of support. I love watching him and want him to carry the ball as much as possible but I don't think he'll hold up toting the rock over 25 times a game for an entire season. He's taken a couple of shots and been slow to get up already so don't think those hits won't add up. I want to be excited for Michigan, but we've seen this production before. Starting off 4-0 with a new quarterback only to fall to pieces down the stretch isn't a foreign task for this team and their defense looks downright awful at times (see their secondary). When the Wolverines beat on Sparty in the Big House, then maybe they can start thinking big, but until then there are too many question marks... To hell with it... They're beating Ohio State this year. Screw Pryor and Go Blue!

State of the Union: New York Giants

Go get 'em Tom.

How did the Giants go from such a dominant run offense in 2008 to a questionable group that puts too much pressure on Eli Manning? I think the biggest difference is that Brandon Jacobs now officially sucks. Ahmad Bradshaw looked great but the Giants won their Super Bowl because they stuck with the run, played tough defense, controlled the clock, and occasionally chucked it up to guys who could even catch a bullet. These aren't the same Giants from two years ago, but there are a couple of similarities that give Giants fans reason for hope.

Once again, the Giants seem to have an over abundance of defensive ends. This conveniently sorted itself out a few years ago when Osi Umenyiora was hurt, but this season he's fighting for a starting job with Mathias Kiwanuka. Those two along with Justin Tuck and rookie Jason Pierre-Paul should be special, especially when they break out their NASCAR package (4 defensive ends on the line. I don't think it'll really work but I like things that have to do with NASCAR.). The competition should improve their pass rush which should translate to better play in their linebackers and secondary. They brought in linebacker Keith Bulluck to give a veteran presence, and Antrel Rolle is an incredible improvement at safety. With Aaron Ross and the corners looking good again, this defense won't be too shabby in 2010.

Victor Cruz! Sure he's near the bottom of the depth chart but it was fun to watch him flourish in the preseason. Unfortunately for the UMass product, he'll have to sit behind everybody except Duke Calhoun. The good news for the Giants however, is that those receivers above him are looking solid. Hakeem Nicks is starting to look like a legitimate number one wide receiver to finally take over the spot formerly occupied by a sweat pant wearing, pistol toting, physical freak of a wideout. Steve Smith had a breakout year, and I'm really pulling for Mario Manningham to get himself together because thus far he's only been great at making Ann Arbor look bad. With the number of wide receivers around him that Eli Manning has, expect him to have another 4,000 yard season even though it may not be the best thing for the team. He's an elite quarterback whether he looks like a clueless little kid out there or not (maybe that head scar helped.). The best thing for the team would be Brandon Jacobs remembering that he needs to run straight on short yardage situations, take a pounding, and deal with his broken down body later in life.

Hardly removed from a Super Bowl, apparently there are already rumors that another .500 season would cost Tom Coughlin his job. Seeing as how he won the Super Bowl in a season that most fans wanted him unemployed, maybe this could be a good thing. The Giants played best when nobody expected them to, and maybe with the heavily favored Cowboys and the revamped Eagles and Redskins getting all of the attention in the NFC East, this will be another year for them to shine.

Miles Austin Inks New Deal

Miles Austin and Cowboys Agree to Extension

Good call by me on Dallas not being sold on Austin as a consistent receiver. They may be comfortable with him but I'd like to see another season out of him before throwing money at him. Derek Anderson was good for a year too.

Chris Berman Giving Mustache Rides

Bold move I approve. I don't exactly know how you settle down into mustache culture though. I always feel like a rapist.

State of the Union: Philadelphia Eagles

Philly fans love to hammer people. And get hammered. Really hammered.

Being an Eagles fan must be like having to fight in the Civil War every day. You're technically part of the same organization but there's always bickering and arguing. Half the Eagle fans out there seem to be in love with Kevin Kolb, but the other half hates him already for not being McNabb. Half of them still appreciate that Andy Reid is a good coach at everything other than challenges and big games, the other half want to use him to feed Guam. The post-McNabb era has dawned in Philadelphia and it'll be an interesting year.

The Philadelphia defense isn't great but isn't bad either. It's a solid unit that can hold it's own against everybody but the top offenses in the league. Seeing as how they have to play the Cowboys twice though (assuming Dallas gets themselves together) this won't be good enough to be better than a wild card team. They brought in Kolb to help win the big game not continue their trend of wild card berths and disappointing finishes, but because he's young it'll be up to the defense to pick up the slack. They brought in former first round pick Ernie Simms to help bring their linebacking corps together and drafted Michigan Man Brandon Graham to give them a better pass rush. The newcomers should be an improvement especially if Simms plays up to his potential, but they'll need to hurry the quarterback if they want to make any marked improvement. Have faith in Graham. Michigan almost always pulls through.

To be clear I think Kevin Kolb has all of the tools to succeed in a normal situation. Philadelphia isn't a normal situation though so I don't know if he's mentally prepared to go from the most loved position in town to the most loathed with his move up the depth chart. He has the weapons and the system to be a playmaker. DeSean Jackson is a self absorbed jerkoff but he's an incredibly talented self absorbed jerkoff who can get separation, stretch the field, and open things up for their version of a run game (swing passes and dump offs to their backs). Smurf receivers who depend on the big play tend to have boom and bust years but Reid is certainly going to get the ball in his hands in open space. Jeremy Maclin is a player and Riley Cooper looks to continue the trend of Florida players who look better away from Tebow so Kolb will have no shortage of receivers to go to. The one positive of parting with Brian Westbrook is that they don't have to wonder which week their number one offensive player will go down with injury. LeSean McCoy already lead the team in carries last season and has proven that he's ready for the starting job on Sundays. Like McNabb though, it will be Kolb who is asked to shoulder the load each weekend and put up numbers while limiting mistakes in their pass heavy offense. If he isn't up to the task prepare for a backlash of epic proportions and possible riots in Philly. They do have tasty riot punch though so if they start flipping cars I'll be down there in a heartbeat.

State of the Union: Washington Redskins

This guy's psyched to start on Sundays.

The first two words when I think of the Redskins right now are old and incompetent. That can't be good for Dan Snyder's crew. Sure they retooled in the offseason, but they do that every year (See Haynesworth) and it hasn't seemed to work in quite some time. With no nonsense Mike Shannahan at the helm now though, maybe things will change. Or he'll continue to be a mediocre coach away from John Elway. I'm leaning towards the latter.

Donovan McNabb was never appreciated in Philadelphia the way he should have been. Sure he choked. Sure he threw up in big games. Sure he never won it all, but the guy is a potential hall of famer who had to went out to play every week knowing that most of his "fans" would still hate him. He doesn't have the weapons around him that he had as an Eagle last year and he doesn't have the familiarity of a coach that he's played with every year since he's been in the league, but he's a pro who should help the team improve. That is until the fans realize that the team sucks, they have a terrible offensive line, and it wasn't totally Jason Campbell's fault and want to trade back for him. They have Santana Moss and Joey Galloway for him to work with (did they really have to have open try outs at a retirement home?) as well as the dependable Chris Cooley. Chris Cooley pretty much does whatever he wants and even Eagles fans have to kind of like the guy. With Clinton Portis and Larry Johnson in the backfield, the most interesting part of Skins games may be when they have to bail on their walkers to leave the locker room.

For as bad as the team was their defense wasn't terrible. Even if Fat Albert Haynesworth gets traded the second after their game against the Cowboys they still may be decent only because he's such a distraction. He's a great player but with that kind of media attention it's hard for players to focus in the room. Their secondary played well but it'll be up to the front seven to learn how to stop the rush. That was supposed to be Haynseworth's job so it'll be a wonder if they can be all that much better without him, but again he's such a locker room cancer that it'll be worth the move. Shanahan best be right in his ego trip though because if they're worse it'll be on his head.

State of the Union: Dallas Cowboys

So ends every Cowboy season.

If the Cowboys don't make the Super Bowl in Dallas then heads will roll, namely Wade Phillips'. Since that's the case, he's screwed. You can't judge things based on the preseason but even if you chalk up all of their errors to timing and mental mistakes that are fixable they still aren't as good as the Saints, Vikings, and Packers in the NFC. The Cowboys are always a fun experience though because you never know what you're going to get. You think they've got the Seahawks locked down? Nope. Tony Romo's going to fumble. You think they look great heading into the postseason? They're going to get thrashed by Philadelphia instead. Even when they finally do win a postseason game they put on a clinic in how to get demolished by Minnesota in the second round. These aren't the Cowboys of old but instead a team that's trying to build a tortured fan base with great looking teams that find a way to screw it up. I'm excited to see what they have in store this year...

The funny thing about the Cowboys is that they have the biggest offensive line in the league but they don't want to play power ball. The bear that Will Ferrel fought in Semi-Pro doesn't have anything on these guys but instead of plowing ahead with Marion Barber or cutting with Felix Jones to at least set up the pass they're perfectly content putting the ball in Tony's hands 45 times a game. Brilliant. That's especially bright considering that Michael Irvin came out and said that playing with Roy Williams is like playing "10 vs 11." Thanks for the vote of confidence Mike. Seriously though, the Cowboys better pray that Dez Bryant works out because they need help on the outside. Miles Austin is a question mark in terms of consistency and other than Jason Witten they don't have many people for Romo to get the ball to. Maybe Miles comes back with another stellar year, but the fact that they aren't giving him another contract shows that even the Cowboys aren't completely convinced. They may have had the second best offense in the league last year but a lot of that stemmed from Austin's production, and if he falls off then so does Romo and the rest of the team.

The Cowboys can't fall apart defensively like they did against Minnesota and expect to win many games. They have a great defense that won them a lot of games but they need to be better in the clutch and better than twentieth against the pass if they hope for playoff success. Everybody in the NFC East is going to wind up being pass heavy so in order to make it out of the division their secondary has to capitalize on a front seven that finished seventh in the league in sacks. With that much quarterback pressure they need to be able to hold their wide receivers, and that responsibility falls on Terence Newman and Mike Jenkins. The former first round picks should be up to it and as long as the offense doesn't turn over the ball constantly, this is a good unit that can win today but needs to remember how to win in January.

I wanted to be excited when Houston beat Dallas in the preseason but I couldn't manage it. Dallas beat itself more than anything. There were horrible, especially on offense when they had a real opportunity to score. That type of play cannot and should not continue into the regular season where the Cowboys are favored to win the NFC East. If it does continue and the Cowboys choose to rev their trend of bad Decembers back up then Wade will be looking for a new job earlier than he expects. Just win baby applies to Jerry Jones as much as it does to Al Davis.

State of the Union: Green Bay Packers

I like the Packers and this dog. Even their animals are dedicated in Wisconsin. My dog would have torn off that cheesehead in a second.

Everybody and their mother seems to be picking the Green Bay Packers to come out of the NFC North and Aaron Rodgers to be in the running for MVP. Looking at this team it's hard to disagree with them. They finished second overall in total defense and sixth overall in total offense, and that was a team that had to deal with all of the Favre to Minnesota drama and deal with the pressure of a loaded Vikings team. It was also a team where Rodgers ended up on his back on almost every play for the first half of the season, because he refused to get rid of the ball and he had a terrible line. The first problem seems to have sorted itself out and the second was addressed in the draft, so the sky is the limit for Green Bay.

I have been firmly entrenched on the Aaron Rodgers bandwagon ever since he came out of Cal with some of the sickest facial hair in the league. Rookies don't come in and put that kind of performance up. Then he turned out to be an elite quarterback and god damn I was sold. It's a shame that he had to end last season on a pick because his performance in Arizona was flat out incredible (hypocritical I know because I hate on Favre for the same thing but Rodgers hasn't turned into a Wrangler wearing ass who disrespects the fans that loved him). In the backfield, Ryan Grant's a good guy but I'm not completely sold on him as an every down back even though everyone else seems to be. I'll reiterate what announcers said a thousand times about Tre Newton during the Texas game against Rice: he seems to do everything well but nothing great. He's still a solid back and either way, with Greg Jennings, a revitalized Donald Driver, and a Jermichael Finley who is ready to be a pro bowl caliber tight end around Rodgers, this offense has enough to play in a shootout with anybody in the league even though they won't need to.

Green Bay's defense is the staple of the team even though their offense is explosive. They finished first in the league in takeaways but even without relying on the interception their total defense can play with anybody. Their pass defense isn't great, but if B.J. Raji can improve in year two as expected then there will be more of a pass rush which will lighten the load on elderly corner Charles Woodson and his companion Tramon Williams. Pass defense cost them against the Cardinals and it will continue to cost them if Favre plays as well as he did last season. They're emphasizing tackling fundamentals in camp and counting on emerging corners in order to counteract this problem, but if it doesn't work out then they won't win a championship. Their secondary is the biggest difference between them being a wild card team and them being an elite Super Bowl contender.

I'm going to go ahead and pick the Packers to come out of the NFC at the end of the year even though their offensive line and secondary are issues. They'll be counting on rookie first round pick Bryan Bulaga to protect Rodgers' left side but he should be up for the task and step in as immediate improvement. The Packers showed a lot in that loss to the Cardinals, and even though they didn't come through they made it clear that they can play a diverse game and perform in adverse conditions. The Packers are coming this year. Favre beware.

Did the Jets get Amnesia?

Alright. I understand having swagger. I get it. I get being confident. Antonio Cromartie and the Jets who claimed, "We're the Miami Heat of football," must be out of their mind though. It's not just Cromartie because Sanchez is talking too saying, "We're building a dream team." I have a few questions for the Jets:

Do they accurately remember last year at all? Do they remember being 7 and 7 going into the final two weeks with both of their final opponents planning to rest starters? (Note: I saw the Bengals massacre but I refuse to believe that they weren't planning on taking Palmer out. I know I even talked crap before that game that the Jets would still lose. Don't care. Other than Ochocinco, who was hurt, none of the Bengals wanted to be there. The attitude carried over into the playoffs after the Jets laid the wood on them.) Do they remember that the week before they played Painter and the Colts they lost to a Falcon team with a Matt Ryan who was questionable right up until game time coming back from an injury? Do they remember that Braylon Edwards still tries to play without hands? Do they remember how effective Thomas Jones and Leon Washington were, and that Greene is no guarantee and Joe McKnight is nowhere close? Do they remember just how bad their offense was even with dependable backs? Do they remember that Ladanian Tomlinson and Jason Taylor are washed up, no matter what they show on Hard Knocks? Do they remember that the Chargers weren't exactly upset to see Cromartie go? Do they remember getting smacked by New England the second time they played? Do they remember losing to Buffalo? Do they remember Sanchez throwing for only 100 yards against San Diego (and that San Diego chokes annually)? Do they remember that the Patriots, not the Jets, that won the division?

I know I sound like a hater and I'll probably get flack but this is getting ridiculous. I'm sick of the Jets and they haven't played a down yet. I remember Houston getting smacked around by the Jets in week one last year and how much that game sucked but I still can't wait for week 11 even though it's a terrible matchup. I want someone, anyone, to shut them up. I remember how good the Jets D was and how good Revis was, but I also remember that two of the top three quarterbacks played in the Super Bowl and the other plays in the AFC East. I like Rex Ryan because he's entertaining and at first I wanted the Jets to do well but at this point I hope they fall on their faces. Win something, and until you do, shut up.

State of the Union: Detroit Lions

I believe in Matthew Stafford.

Is anybody else actually excited to see the Lions play this year? I sure am. Not since John Kitna guaranteed 10 wins has there been any real excitement around this organization (for anyone who doesn't remember they came out hot, built hope in a starving fan base heading into a deep economic recession, and then crapped on everybody. Classic). This isn't the same Detroit team that went winless, but instead is a team full of youth and hope. They won't turn from 2nd worst in the league to a contender overnight, but this season will be a building year where they establish a foundation for the future.

After focusing on offense last season, the Lions built their defense by selecting Ndamukong Suh second overall. Suh is an absolute truck, and I'm not just saying that because he threw Colt McCoy around like a 16 year old girl at a Roethlisberger family reunion in the Big 12 Championship game. He was great all season long. I don't think he'll have an immediate impact, but after going through growing pains and giving the team time to build the linebackers behind him then he should be a stud. They solidified the line around him by signing defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch and defensive tackle Corey Williams, so this defense should improve even though they're shaky at safety and linebacker.

If the Lions are going to win any games this year it's going to be because of their growing offense. I was never on the Matt Stafford bandwagon until this summer when I heard that he ran everything at UGA in his college days. His ability to take over the bar in the clutch when owners would turn over the keys translates nicely into the pro game, so I have new faith in his ability to perform. How much different is avoiding a pass rush than avoiding drunk huskies trying to make moves? If he can dish out a couple of quick shots to his boys so they can get the job done, I'm pretty confident that he can pitch it out to explosive first round pick Jahvid Best or toss a quick slant to his, now healthy, safety blanket tight end Brandon Pettigrew. Plus, he never had a wingman at Georgia like he has in Calvin Johnson. If he were on a slightly better team he'd be talked about in the same sentence as Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson. There's enough firepower on this offense to win a firefight or two as long as Stafford can stay healthy and build on his rookie year.

Let me be clear, this team isn't about to win 12 games and take the NFC North. In the division they're probably going to go 0-4 against the Vikings and the Packers, and maybe take one against the Bears. That doesn't mean that this team won't be fun to watch and show promise. As long as Megatron is in the mix and they have an explosive back, at the very least they'll celebrate a few Sportscenter top 10s. Hey, it's a step up from that loss counter a couple years ago.

Trevor Hoffman Reaches 600 Saves

On tuesday night the Milwaukee Brewers' Trevor Hoffman became the first pitcher in Major League Baseball History to record his 600 save. Hoffman is the MLB's all time saves leader and arguably the second best closer of all time only to the New York Yankees' sandman, Mariano Rivera.

Hoffman has spent the majority of his career with the San Diego Padres before becoming a Brewer last season, and is currently undecided if he will return next season or retire.

State of the Union: New Orleans Saints

There's really no reason why the Saints can't repeat as Super Bowl champions in terms of their personnel or mindset. They're returning everybody on offense, Scott Fugita is the only significant departure from their defense whose replacement is questionable, and Drew Brees is still a top three quarterback in the league. The team still has the swagger that they had when they were talking about going 19-0 through most of last season, so why won't they win in Dallas at the end of this year? With history against them as well as defensive flaws, New Orleans would have to catch a couple of huge breaks to make it to the title again this season.

Nobody questions that the Saints have a prolific offense. What people should question is how often a 25th ranked defense will win the Super Bowl. This unit was opportunistic more than good, and though they took the ball away more than anybody outside of Green Bay, will that type of production hold up if Darren Sharper's knee keeps him out of the lineup? His meaning to the unit goes beyond statistical production as, along with Jon Vilma, he is a leader of the defense. Even if Malcolm Jenkins is a step up at the safety position in terms of talent, I have my doubts as to whether this unit will have another 26 interceptions in 2010 without his voice in the back. The defense came up with timely interceptions in the Super Bowl and NFC Championship, but it wasn't like they held the Viking offense to single digits. Will Smith and the rest of the defensive line will put enough pressure on the passer to keep the picks up and if Jenkins plays he'll certainly have the talent, but it's still a mystery as to whether or not that will be enough to replace Sharper's consistent leadership. Without a dependable defense, the Saints may put on a show again, but it's unlikely they'll get through to another Super Bowl.

The Saint offense is no joke. Drew Brees and Sean Payton were a match made in heaven and with their line and weapons like Marques Colston and Devery Henderson on the outside it's hard to imagine the Saints offense finishing outside of the top 5 in total offense. They have a three pronged attack in the backfield with Pierre Thomas, Reggie Bush, and newcomer Lynell Hamilton, and even though I hate Reggie it's still an impressive unit that will put up points. Bush ran like a new back in the postseason and they're hoping that he'll finally turn into the player that they thought he'd be, but it seems as if that's the case every season. Expect him to be the same as last year only with a little less personal hardware in his trophy case. Jeremy Shockey has apparently gotten himself together so maybe the number one offense in the league can still improve.

It's hard to find faults in this team and half the people out there are picking against the Saints purely because they won it last year. It isn't necessarily a mental difference that makes it so hard to repeat, but the fact that so much has to go right for a team to win in the first place makes it almost impossible. Had Favre not played like Brett Favre at the end of regulation then chances are he'd be out of the league or Manning wouldn't be talked about as a choke artist again. That doesn't mean the Saints aren't going to entertain this year, but don't book your playoff tickets just yet. The NFC South is the worst to first division after all and that doesn't bode well when you're already on top.

Raplisberger Loses Captaincy

Steelers vote Ben Roethlisberger out as offensive captain. Better hide the kids cause he's going on a bender after this one.

I don't know why but I'm kind of surprised by this move. At first I just wanted to post it because it gave me an opportunity to bring out Ben Intruder but shouldn't his guys stick with him and say he's our boy here? Shouldn't the team be focusing on locker room chemistry rather than looking good for the press? Clearly this was going to be a story no matter which way they voted but this is still Ben's team. Taking away his captaincy only shows that he's clearly a dick and even people in the locker room want to get away from him (only in this situation they're tied down by contracts rather than a few big guys waiting outside the bathroom). I like their decision to start Dennis Dixon over Charlie Batch, but this move doesn't bode well for Pittsburgh. I'm excited for the locker room chaos and Ben eventually ending up someplace like Arizona because people can't stand him anymore. Good times.

State of the Union: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Sweet fro Josh Freeman. Get a fu manchu and some racing stripes and maybe you can compete.

Last season was a circus in Tampa. Raheem Morris didn't pull his pants down or anything, but firing coordinators all over the place and juggling his quarterback of the future didn't work well for him. This season should be different. They have a young corps of players who will use this season as more of a growing experience than anything, but there should be glimpses of good things to come. If there aren't any bright moments in 2010 then Bucs fans can at least brace themselves for at least five more years of crappy football.

The Bucs showed a commitment to rebuilding a championship defense when they took defensive tackles Gerald McCoy and Brian Price with their first two picks in the draft. It's tough for rookie defensive tackles to make an impact in the league, especially when their ends aren't the greatest in the world, but that's the beautiful thing about playing for a garbage team: they have time to get the rookie jitters out and develop into studs without looking over their shoulders. The linebackers behind them look great with Geno Hayes and Quincy Black so they aren't out there on their own in the front seven. Behind the linebackers lie several question marks. Whatever happened to Aqib Talib? Apparently he isn't dead but you could have fooled me. Coming out of Kansas you'd think his name would be tossed around as a top tier corner but it hasn't happened yet. Word out of camp is that he's cleaned his act up, has demonstrated leadership, and is starting to look like the player they thought he would be. If he can be that guy, this unit has great potential heading into the future. Like the entire team, they aren't there yet this season, but going forward they could eventually mold into a great D.

Everything on offense depends on how well Josh Freeman has progressed in the offseason. Their wide receivers are a young group including Mike Williams and Arrelious Benn (who I really like coming out of Illinois. He'll take a few years but expect him to get there. Benn and Juice raped Michigan enough to get respect. Not ha ha type rape either it was legitimate call the cops and get a rape kit done while the family cries type of deal). They also have the confusing Kellen Winslow in their midst who can give a quarterback a safety blanket if he so chooses. Seriously Kellen, either be good or be bad. Stop being inconsistent and get your act together. Along with running backs Cadillac Williams and the surprising Kareem Huggins, Freeman has enough weapons around him to find a rhythm and show that he's a pro. He has all the physical tools, now get out there and get some reps.

Is this Bucs team going to continue the NFC South trend of worst to first and make the playoffs? No. They're too young and they aren't going to try and hide Johnson with a ground it out game. They do have some talent though and this team will be a contender in the future. Maybe they arrive a year early and show something this year with a "Nobody believes in us" attitude and I'll eat my words, but until they put up a few wins all they have is potential.

Jets Annex Revis Island

Jets finally sign Darrelle Revis.

The holdout is finally over. Now Jets fans can feel all good about themselves and start talking like they already won the Super Bowl. Honestly though, other than Sanchez, I don't know how you can beat them. Kris Jenkins is back so you can't run on them, plus they have the best corners in the league so you can't really throw either. Week 11 sure will be fun. All I know is that the Jets cannot win. They're a team that sets out every year to punish their fans as much as possible. I don't know how or when, but it will happen. That's the way Fireman Ed's brigade rolls.

Umm... Hey Matt

Texans ink Matt Leinart.

Well this isn't awkward... Anyway, I like the move. Schaub isn't an ironman so it's nice to have a quarterback behind him who knows not to run out the back of the end zone. He's still terrible, but he's an improvement. On the bright side he brings in more fun media coverage. The Texans never get any love on ESPN but maybe if Leinart starts going after coeds they'll get some coverage. Enjoy the chicks at Rice Matt, but get better immediately.

So Long Matty

Cardinals cut Matt Leinart. In an unrelated story, the number of date rapes of sorority members at nearby Arizona State University is down 7 percent.

Matty it's been a fun ride. Well, you had fun anyway. Everybody else probably hates you. You seriously can't beat out Derek Anderson? Derek Anderson??!! His stats were worse than JaMarcus Russell's. Good luck catching on with another team and proving your doubters wrong with your whole new school approach. I'm sure if you do enough 12 ounce curls you'll eventually bulk up that cannon of an arm you've got.

State of the Union: Atlanta Falcons

Here here homie. Here here.

This isn't the same team that won 11 games in 2008 mainly because they wore out Michael Turner in Matt Ryan's rookie year. After 376 carries in 2008, it's no wonder that he dealt with injury troubles in 2009. As a backup in San Diego Turner was never overused before that season, but historically backs don't bounce back well after so much use. He's only 28 so there's a chance that he comes back but it's slim, especially since he's the focal point of the Falcon offense. They have to hand him the ball or their offense will probably look just like last year's: incredibly mediocre. That doesn't sit well when your defense is bad. Jerious Norwood is no guarantee to stay healthy and Matt Ryan is no sure thing to run a pass heavy offense. Speaking of Matt Ryan, I really want to hate him. The guy went to BC so I'm pretty much obligated to but I can't find it in me. That final drive against Virginia Tech was too good and Matty Ice is a sweet nickname. He still isn't there yet as a top tier quarterback yet but I think he gets there this year. Yes, he was hurt last season and there weren't many flashes of greatness in Burner Turner's absence. It would have been nice to see him take the team on his shoulders and like Rapelisberger did in the playoffs when he was young, but it hasn't happened yet. This is the year he turns that corner and starts playing like the top pick he was. He has weapons at wide receiver including Roddy White and a finally healthy Harry Douglas, plus Tony Gonzalez is still hungry for a ring. He also has the luxury of playing against Cleveland, St. Louis, and Seattle this season, so he'll have a few games to boost his stats. If it doesn't happen now then we're looking at another good but not great quarterbacking career. That's alright. Everybody loved lining up for tickets when Chad Pennington was in town. Right?

Screw Dunta Robinson. He's a decent cornerback who thinks he's much better than he is. Now that he's gotten his pay raise I wonder if he'll still even come out to compete or sit on the sidelines polishing his "Pay me" shoes. He's an improvement for them at corner, which they needed playing against Drew Brees twice a year and after ranking 28th against the pass, but don't expect greatness. All the news out of Falcons' camp says that they're a big improvement over last year's team but frankly who doesn't say that during preseason? They caught John Abraham in his last good year in 2008 and other than surprising rookie defensive tackle Corey Peters (who may start due to injury) there haven't been any standouts on the line thus far. Sure they brought in outside linebacker Sean Weatherspoon in the first round to add energy and a playmaker to their front seven, but this is still a group trying to find itself. They say they have swagger now but they'll have to prove it on Sundays because their offense isn't good enough to give them room. And they have Duna Robinson. Who sucks.

Maybe I'm being overly pessimistic but I don't see much coming out of Atlanta this year. They caught lightning in a bottle in 2008 when they fought against the Mike Vick controversy and they have all the signs of a middle of the pack team. Sure, they'll contend for a playoff spot late into the year, but this team's season will be done week 17. Carolina and New Orleans are both better teams unless Turner comes back with a vengeance and solidifies himself as the great back he has the potential to be. So goes Turner go the Falcons. Still better than hearing people say Matt Ryan would never be loved like Mike Vick because he isn't black I guess. Those were the days.

Kovy's a Devil

After a long hiatus, due to a pretty wild start to the school year, I make my return announcing some huge news. The NHL approved Ilya Kovalchuk's new contract with the New Jersey Devils. The revised deal is for 15 years, 100 million dollars meaning Kovy will be a Devil until he's 42 years old. Time to celebrate Devils fans. With Lou and Kovy in NJ for at least the next decade, the team is definitely poised to make long runs in the postseason, and most likely bring a cup back to NJ. Now they just need to start worrying about who is going to replace Marty between the pipes.

Amateur of the Week: Michel Platini

Good times eh England? Michel Platini says soccer doesn't need replay.

This is actually last week's amateur but things got delayed. Shoot me. Anyway... I understand the soccer purists who say it'll mess up the flow of the game and that human error makes the sport great. I get that. Not exactly sure if I'd rather feel screwed by a ref for thirty years or lose straight up but I still get it. However, how many times this World Cup were there questionable calls that could have been solved in under thirty seconds? The goal that England scored on Germany that wasn't called? Henry's hand ball in qualifying? Sports today obviously aren't the same as they were 60 years ago and a minute added to extra time could keep an entire generation from being cheated, especially since the games are seen at all angles by millions of viewers. All you need to do is sit a guy up in the stands with an HD overhead cam and have him holler, "Yea that's good bro" or, "Nope. Corner/Goal kick" into the refs earpiece whenever something looks close. Refs already have earpieces. They're halfway there. The signal on the England goal could have come before they even had the chance to punt it out of there so it isn't all that time consuming on some plays. Not all calls will be that clear, but they can realistically add extra time and swing possession via goal kicks/throw ins/corners so it wouldn't be a huge issue to take a second look. Refs can already call fouls and stop the flow of the game for no reason at all (see: US vs. Slovenia) so where's the change? Michel Platini, I know that you're trying to protect your game, but you need to protect it from poor officiating and travesty, and that is why you're this (last) week's amateur of the week.

Atta Boy Baseball. Atta Boy.

Skip to the 52 second mark for the fight.

Baseball is finally getting itself together and I like it. Nyjer (lol?) Morgan saw what happened in that preseason game between the Steelers and the Giants and decided that baseball would take a backseat to football no more. Before the first punch was even thrown though, Chris Volstad showed me something with that emphatic glove toss. There's a guy that's seen a few hockey fights and has done his homework. Get these guys some beer because they've earned it. Well done all around but make sure you keep up the good work. You're still being watched.

State of the Union: Carolina Panthers

Screw Clausen and hop on the Matt Moore bandwagon.

According to the NFC South's history, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers should win the division this year. Unfortunately for them they're terrible. Unless Josh Freeman turns into Gandalf with Antonio Cromartie's legs it isn't going to happen. The Panthers, on the other hand, have a shot at keeping up the trend of climbing out of the cellar and Matt Moore may be the guy to lead the way. Screw the fact that ESPN ranked him behind everybody in the league except for Jake Delhomme. The guy went 6-2 as a starter. He may have never taken the job from Delhomme in a training camp, but he gives them consistency at the position that the team sorely needed. You never knew if Delhomme was going to light the world on fire or throw 2 pick sixes. With Moore, they don't have to worry about that. They know he's going to be mediocre and in this case it's a good thing. Worst comes to worst he sucks and they go to Jimmy Clausen who won't be asked to do much (and he's probably the most polished rookie quarterback this year so it could be much worse).

The Panthers are built to run the ball and that's what they should be doing. Smash and Dash (Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams for those keeping score at home) make up the best tandem backfield in the league (even when Ronnie Brown isn't hurt) and relying on them beats relying on Delhomme any day of the week. Their offensive line finally has some experience under its belt and, like the Jets from last year, they only need the pass to occasionally offset the run so expect a return to smash-mouth football. When they do need to go through the air they have Steve Smith. He had a down year last season, but he's a smurf with a fire in his belly. You think he likes being called The Other Steve Smith? No. He'll be back and it's hard to knock him when his quarterbacks were tossing the ball to the guys in the wrong jerseys. Dwayne Jarrett needs to get his act together to give a viable second option, but with Smith and their running game they should be able to control the clock and win games.

Finishing eighth overall in total defense is good, but that was a unit that still had Julius Peppers. He's irreplaceable, but can the rest of the unit should pick up the slack now that they can no longer rely on him? I guess yes. This is no longer a team defense built around superstars and there aren't many household names on the defensive side of the ball, but as long as they have leadership then the burden is on the group. Think of it like the Ewing theory. There are no excuses and everybody becomes accountable. If Chris Gamble and Richard Marshall can provide leadership from their corner spots, this unit is good enough to win now. Remember, they'll be well rested if they can run the ball like they hope to on offense and it's also hard for a team to find rhythm in a passing offense when they don't have the ball in their hands.

Until Jake Delhomme lost it, the Panthers were a competitor. Their 12 win season in 2008 was no joke. With him out of the picture they don't have to answer questions about how they could possibly send him to lead an offense after tossing 4 INTs, or watch ESPN break down Steve Smith's pep talks on the sidelines. There are no expectations, good or horrendously awful, with Matt Moore. They may have the second worst quarterback in the league, but it's an improvement on what they had.

State of the Union: Houston Texans

I know how these guys feel.

Sadly, there's one offseason acquisition that has me more excited about this season than any other in Texan history and it's a kicker. Neil Rackers. As of right now, he's still technically in a battle with Kris Brown for the starting kicking job, but if they don't cut Brown there are going to be problems. I don't care that Rackers missed that kick against the Packers. A kick wasn't meant to win that game, but Rihanna had a squirt gun fight with Chris Brown in comparison to the problems that the Texans have had with their Kris/Chris combo. At least her Chris didn't get an all expenses paid trip to Paris, get on one knee under the Eiffel Tower, then forget what he was there for and beat her with a tire iron in his confusion. Kris loved to shank clutch kicks and Chris loved to fumble at the one yard line with less than a minute to go in the fourth quarter. That's what they're best at and I'm pretty sure it was what they were born to do. That's fine and dandy but get them out of Houston. Go do that in St. Louis.

Texan running backs needs to stop fumbling the football. The Texans had the number one ranked passing offense last year but could not run the ball to save their lives, and that had a lot to do with the unsure hands of Steve Slaton. Arian Foster is now listed as the starter, but he needs to be better in short yardage situations than the backs of the past have. They get into a third and short and all of a sudden they can't get by a blind paraplegic. Given, the line isn't great at run blocking, but the least they can do is hold onto the football. Fortunately for the backs, the Texans are stacked offensively. They have a top two wide receiver in Andre Johnson (the best depending on how you feel about Larry Fitzgerald), a dominant tight end in Owen Daniels, and two solid secondary receivers in Kevin Walter and Jacoby Jones (whose production is primed to take off). The Jets are the only team on their schedule that has the secondary to match up with their passing game, but if they don't have Revis, Johnson would command double coverage which opens things up for Schaub and his other options. Matt Schaub needs to stay healthy (a problem for the majority of his career) but if he stays upright for 16 games then they're a favorite to make the playoffs. So Matt goes, the Texans go. Dan Orlovsky is their backup. He looked good in the preseason but you never know what's going to happen with him. I wouldn't be surprised if he wore diapers on game day after playing against Jared Allen.

Mario Williams is a freak. They need to get the pass rush going on the opposite side of him and Amobi Okoye needs to stop playing like a thirteen year old girl, but Super Mario's presence on the line worries opposing quarterbacks on every play because he can physically hurt them. Losing Bryan Cushing for the first four games hurts because they're thin at linebacker. Their starters are good with Demeco Ryans leading the unit, but behind them there isn't much depth and they already struggle against the run. Antonio Smith needs a big year opposite Mario because their cornerbacks are questionable. They drafted Kareem Jackson out of Alabama in the first round, but he'll have to step in to fill Dunta "Pay Me" Robinson's shoes. A better pass rush allows for an easier learning curve, but playing against Peyton twice this year doesn't allow for many mistakes.

The scariest part of this team is the hope. The Chris/Kris Brown combo cost them 4 potential wins last season, costing them a playoff spot in the process. With Chris gone and Kris hopefully on his way out, this team is better than it's ever been. Even with Cushing sitting out the first four weeks this team needs to make the playoffs. There's a lot of pressure mounting on the Texans and their coaching staff. They're good enough to win, and they should win, but unfortunately that's when they like to pull a stunt like getting beat twice by Jacksonville. I think they're going to the playoffs, but the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach says 8-8 and a long season of disappointment ahead. Hey, at least they're on Monday Night Football twice. That's pretty cool I guess.

State of the Union: Tennessee Titans

I miss this version of Vince.

I'm fairly confident that if I didn't have an icon of Vince Young in a Longhorns jersey made out of his old gum like Helga from Hey Arnold! I would hate him. True, mobile quarterbacks are much more fun to watch than prototypical pocket passers (which is partially why I'm on the Dennis Dixon bandwagon and also why I think dog fighting isn't as bad as people with a northern bias think. Different strokes for different folks. I digress...). True, he has a .667 winning percentage in the NFL and the majority of those games he played without Chris Johnson as his feature back. True, he beat up a strip club owner for giving him the Horns down. He possesses many qualities that I admire, but he has a knack for making people support him look like jackasses. Oh you like that I'm rookie of the year and on the cover of Madden? Boom, I'm gonna throw a few picks and go for a joy ride with my .45. You like the fact that I make a previously bad team exciting to watch? Well, I'm going to come into your house and take you out of playoff contention. Roasted. All that aside, Vince looks really good this preseason, and with their young corps of receivers they could do some damage through the air to give Chris Johnson a bit of rest. His receivers always play in single coverage because their running game is so good, but don't be surprised if those catchable balls he lofts everywhere start being caught by the other team.

In reality, the Titans start and end with Chris Johnson (CJ2K. I can't decide whether or not his decision to get that tattooed is cool. I'm leaning towards cool but officially sit on the fence). He makes up almost all of their offense, but they'll need to lighten up his load or he's going to end up like Shaun Alexander in his post MVP years. They've brought in Jevon Ringer, who was a workhorse at Michigan State and averaged 6 yards a carry in his first year with the Titans. He's no Chris Johnson, but nobody else in the league is either, so the kid should be serviceable especially considering that he's replacing Fatty. Giving CJ the ball through the air will be another way that the Titans can get him in the open field and have him avoid the punishment that comes with carrying the ball between the tackles. All in all, there's no shot in hell he's running for another 2,000 yards on the ground. Losing Kevin Mawae hurts (even though there's talk that his replacement Leroy Harris is an improvement) and, even if the line is still good, it'll be hard to pick up yards when you're still playing starters and aren't losing 59-0. If he does pull it off, then don't expect the Titans to be in the playoffs because it'll come at the expense of a complete offense. Last year was special for any athlete but I don't think he's realized that yet.

If the Titans want to get back to form, their defense is going to have to play like it did in 2008 rather it's 28th ranked 2009 counterpart. The big names from the past, like Haynesworth, may be gone, but it's hard to be worse than last year. Playing their starters all the way through 16 games would be an improvement. Linebacker Keith Bulluck is still there to anchor this defense that has a lot of youth coming in. Since Jevon Kearse and Vanden Bosch are out, the Titans drafted defensive end Derrick Morgan out of Georgia Tech as their replacement. If he can get over his calf injury that has hampered him all preseason then he should step in and make an immediate impact on their line. Their secondary isn't great but cornerback Jason McCourtney has some experience under his belt and will be counted on to replace Nick Harper. If their pass rush improves it will make make life easier on their think looking secondary, but if Morgan doesn't get healthy then it's nothing but a continuation of the status quo.

Success for the Titans depends on how well Young handles the pressure of starting week in and week out of the NFL. It's great to come in and be a hero when the team is garbage, but being asked to take a team to the playoffs from week one is a different task entirely. The receivers will help but not if Kenny Britt keeps making dumb decisions like showing up out of shape or kicking the ball out of bounds against the Cardinals. Nate Washington and Justin Gage are good, but Britt has the talent to take this team to another level. Young needs to get them the ball. Until the Titans build a passing offense that can consistently supplement the run like they did at the end of the season, then they may sneak into the playoffs, but they won't win. It showed in 2008. VY can't just be Kerry Collins. He needs to be the explosive player they brought him in to be. He'll always be remembered for the confetti shot at the end of the Rose Bowl, but if he doesn't complete this season then he'll be nothing but a footnote in the NFL.

Get Some Chan!

Buffalo Bills head coach Chan Gailey (the sheriff looking guy above) tells off hecklers.

Tell them how you feel coach! It's bad enough that he has to reside in Buffalo for the majority of the year but now he has to deal with hecklers at practice? That's too much. Nobody wants to go to Buffalo. It's miserable. Frankly, I'm impressed that nobody has pulled a Phil Wellman during a game or shot himself mid-season to escape it. But no. They keep showing up. They aren't moving to Toronto. Be thankful Buffalo. The Bills may suck and your lives may generally suck but at least you have each other. Show some appreciation and enjoy the memories of Jim Kelly and all those years you almost won the Super Bowl.

State of the Union: Indianapolis Colts

"No Sally, mommy's dead remember?" -Peyton Manning

I desperately want to write an article boldly claiming that the Colts are going to miss the playoffs for the first time since 2001. I want to talk about how Peyton Manning is going to go back to flaunting the Manning face after his performance in the Super Bowl. I want to say how their terrible run game is going to come back to haunt them or that their defense is mediocre or that Mario Williams is going to tear through their line and tear off Peyton's arm week one in Houston. I can't though. They're too good. Peyton was money in every big game in 2009 (except against the Saints) and with the return of Anthony Gonzalez there's no reason to expect much of a drop-off. The only thing that can stop this team is injury or implosion (on a Manning team the latter is unlikely).

Offensively, where do you start? When Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon can come in and tear it up then who do you cover if you're a defense? Manning has so many weapons around him that even when defenses cover Reggie Wayne like they did in their final six games then he still has options. Dallas Clark is a beast who will provide Manning with a safety blanket even if their backs can't help the offense. Joseph Addai is in the last year of his contract and Donald Brown is improving so it's likely that they'll be more dangerous than last year when they do get the touches. Brown is already a solid pass catching back but he's looking for a breakout field to give defenses another threat to cover.

The only issue with this team is their defense. Obviously it isn't that big of an issue because they started 14-0 and came close to winning a ring (in a game where their best defensive lineman had a bad foot), but compared to their offense it's a bit of a problem. They should be better with Bob Sanders coming back from injury, but that's the same story as every offseason. Pretty much assume that he isn't on the team any more but if he shows up then it's great for Indy. To make a fat kid reference: he's the fries at the bottom of the drive through bag. You're already doing well but they're nice to have. The Colts made a point of shoring up their defensive depth in the draft, but they could have done more to improve their secondary. 14th in the league against the pass is good, but not great. They have Mathis and Freeney on their pass rush so obviously the issues aren't on their defensive line.

Because the Colts aren't as loud, they aren't getting the same attention as the Jets or the Vikings, but they're every bit as good if not better. Manning is still the best in the business and as long as this is a quarterback driven league then Indianapolis will keep winning with him at the helm. That being said the AFC South may be the best division in football this year. Houston has a top 5 offense and the Titans pulled themselves together when Vince Young (who has a .667 winning percentage) came in. The Colts will be good, but the road to 14 wins looks tougher this season. If they do get to the playoffs though, I'm calling a choke job true to their old nature. Can't wait.

NHL Changing Tiebreaker

Report: NHL to make regulation and overtime wins more valuable than shootout wins in case of a tiebreaker.

I know I just talked about how I hated all of the rule changes but I like this one. While shootouts are exciting, they aren't the best way to settle a hockey game. Too many teams play conservatively in overtime to make the most of their goaltender in the shootout (namely the Rangers even though they were burned for it by the Flyers). This is a start, but I don't understand why they don't alter the point system all together. The extra point for an overtime loss was meant to provide incentive for teams who played for ties instead of wins. Now that there are no ties, why does that point exist? One point for a shootout win and two points for any other win is the most realistic situation that would punish teams for losing and stop rewarding them just for keeping it close. Some die-hard fans are calling for continuous OT but it's too Utopian. There's no sense playing six periods in November and players will wear down quicker. Saving it for the playoffs also adds special meaning to games in May. NHL, you're getting warmer but not quite there yet.

P.S. I also like the additional line behind the goal line. I don't know how this took so long to think of but it's brilliant. It won't help every goal but it'll certainly be beneficial.